How I Slept

It was a night where I slept absolutely nothing like it felt ! I was slow to nod off, I remember being wide awake around 5am then went on to have a VERY disturbing dream. Yet the reality is that I slept very well, clocking over seven hours asleep, aided by being in bed on time and not getting up early to take the "magic blue tablet" (no boom-boom on shopping day). I have learned that the secret to sleeping well (for me) is simply being in bed not doing anything for long enough. Because I can't track my sleep with my consciousness, I'd never have understood how I was sleeping without my Fitbit. Despite its flaws and shortcomings, it has proved a sound investment in my wellbeing. Another interesting point of note is that my sleep efficiency is very consistent - around 82%. 

Despite a day of petty frustrations, I still managed to fit in 80 minutes meditation in the afternoon and get to bed on time. It took me a while to drop off but I got 6 hours and my deep sleep has noticably increased recently, pushing over the hour. Though sleep discipline is undoubtedly improving my wellbeing, it's not turning me into Buddha! I'm still oversensitive, brooding and low stress-tolerant. It's BECAUSE of these traits that it's so important I pursue mental discipline to control them.  

I could have got an hour or so longer in bed if I had been more disciplined and not succumbed to some sulky resentment over a trivial matter. At least when I got there I slept OK, and had an "epic" detailed dream about being part of a 3-man reconnaissance patrol in World War 1 - not in the trenches but in open country. It must have been the Balkans because we spotted a Turkish fleet offshore.

In this chart, the importance of daily meditation (shaded areas) is clearly seen in "topping up" my brain rest and pushing it over the critical 6 hours mark and closer to the aspirational 7 hour target.

Length: 14:20 - 16:40 Time in trance/sleep: 1 hr 46 mins This was about as good as meditation gets - the full budgeted 2 hours, most of it not conscious. As usual I woke thirsty, a craving for something sweet and with a urine boner. A wee, a few squares of white choc and a comforting cuppa and I'm relaxed and calm at the keyboard, partially compensated for last night's substandard sleep.

According to my Fitbit I never went back to sleep after waking up at 05:08. I certainly did wake at that time, but I would contend that I went back to sleep around 30 minutes later because the next thing I was aware of was my alarm at 0700. The Fitbit has limitations in sleep measurement if the sleep length is less than 3 hours, so I suspect it simply "ignored" an hour's sleep at the end. However, what is nontheless true is that I underslept - not unusual for a Saturday night, but made shorter by two factors - I was 30 minutes later than the Saturday night usual and I remember being unusually horny overnight. Though I have erectile dysfunction, this doesn't mean I've no libido - it just means my erections don't keep going without continual stimulation or the "magic tablets". A further contributory factor was that I was later getting home than I planned - at 15-20 minutes, this was practically-speaking inconsequential, but it bothered me disprop...

Friday-Saturday is the most sleep-deprived time of the week and you can see how my brain has partially-compensated - sleep efficiency and deep sleep is increased, and no restlessness around 3-4 - just a quick wee. This sleep-deprivation is not just due to the Weekend Job but is also a conscious choice - I like to watch The Last Leg on Friday night and I don't want to forgo a "marital enrichment opportunity" in the morning, which requires getting up an hour before so the "magic tablet" has time to work ; ) 

This night was one of those where there was a fierce internal conflict around 03:00 whether or not to go downstairs to slake a strong thirst or stay put. As thirsty as I was, I was equally as sleepy. Eventually sleepiness won and I never moved, and went on to have a dream about the Gallagher brothers (ex-Oasis) as cowboy demolition engineers. I know exactly where this came from - I had been watching a documentary about Oasis and saw the older buildings of a local school being demolished. My brain simply cross-referenced the memories. With this week being a return to full brain-rest discipline, I'm definitely going to miss my afternoon meditations and 21:00 wind-down that isn't currently possible Fri-Sat. At least I go into it with my brain as refreshed as possible.

A longer-than-recent meditation of 80 minutes today, noticably deeper and it took me longer to come round. This was probably aided by a change of position - more upright which kept my airway clear and stopped me snoring. I had previously thought the opposite - that further back I reclined, the LESS likely I was to snore - wrong!  Of course proper eastern meditation has you sat fully upright - bones resting on bones - the effort to maintain it keeping you conscious but in trance. Reclined, you are more likely to drift into sleep if the trance is deep. Well that suits me fine! It's all brain-rest. About 45 degrees seems enough to prevent snoring and keep the airway open so I'll maintain that from today.  

What is particularly pleasing is the consistency and rhythm that has established itself now my consciousness has given it the opportunity to do so. On ordinary Monday - Thursdays I'm providing myself a 2-hour meditation opportunity (1400-1600, but my brain is consistently settling for just 1 hour) an hour's "wind-down" (2100-2200) and an 8-hour "lights out" opportunity. My sleep pattern is correspondingly consistent this week. Compelling evidence for its' benefits is a much longer "fuse". Yesterday my son sent a cereal bowl flying from my hand and smashing to the floor. I reacted cool as a cucumber and simply acknowledged that accidents easily happen. On another day deprived of sleep, his head would have undoubtedly been bitten off. Having a "short fuse", an introverted brooding character and low stress tolerance are intrinsic aspects of myself that I have had to learn to accept and manage with good mental disciplines, most impo...

This sleep was as good as I get. I was in bed "winding down" at 2100 with "lights out" at 2100. As with last night, the perception that I was awake a lot isn't the reality as measured. I remember "neutral" dreams about not getting round to objectives but there was no frustration in the dream. Though I'm fully aware of "confirmation bias" I have nevertheless woken feeling very calm and relaxed.

Meditation length - 65 minutes 14:05 - 15:10 Time in trance: 58 minutes Shorter than the 80 minute average, and as usual I woke parched and needing a wee. Interestingly, I had a wee but not a drink, and the thirst passed by itself. I would conclude that leaving the Consulting Room to the more humid rest of the house was enough to cure my dry mouth.  However I don't intend to make the Consulting Room less dry as this prevents mould forming. An hour plus is in any case quite sufficient to promote mental wellbeing and compensate for my 80% sleep efficiency at night.

This was one of those where I slept better than I thought I did. It felt like I was awake for a long time after lights out and I recall waking a lot. The reality seems to be I just vividly remember the awake points in my sleep cycle and of course in non-REM sleep there are no memories, so the passing of time is not registered. I remember my dreams involved odd situations that left me perplexed rather than upset, but on waking I remembered nothing about the events. I've read that cocoa contains caffeine and should be avoided before bed, but I'm of the opinion that my own body is fairly unresponsive to caffeine, and a pint of cocoa before bed certainly appears to have done no harm - and it was YUMMY!  Sleep total was again annoyingly just below my 6 hour target, but I also meditate in the afternoon, and my bodily response is similarly interesting. On an uneventful day, I give it a 2pm-4pm window, but my body consistently decides that around 80 minutes is enough, and I wak...

I slept a lot better than I remember! I felt like I was awake for a lot of the night, but I was actually awake for less than usual. It's likely I was dreaming I was awake! I am certainly relieved not to have had the disturbing dreams of the previous night. Though under target, an hour or so in meditation on Sunday afternoon partially compensates.

This was a "satisfactory" week in that I averaged six hours of sleep, aided by one afternoon nap. This was aided by being the first where nothing much was happening since before Christmas and alcohol-free evenings. It is still below the ideal of 8 hours asleep, but I'm not confident of ever being able to reach that amount, due to a low sleep efficiency averaging 81%, although I'm not giving up. I continue to do more research and experimentation. I generally intend to impose more discipline and structure with designated slots for physical and mental effort as well as for rest, sleep and meditation.

This was a "good as it gets" sleep and fairly typical of the current cycle as the measurements go, although it was unusual in the number of dreams I experienced, one being particularly long, vivid and upsetting that had me wide awake at 04:20, so much so that I considered going downstairs for a mug of tea to "get over it". In the event I wasn't awake enough for long enough. Sleep hormones in my blood don't feel particularly pleasant - my muscles are sore and ache and I feel "ill" - which of course makes you want to stay in bed! I went back to bed after a wee and went on to have more dreams which were "neutral" in experience, and gratifyingly, I stayed in bed until the 07:00 alarm. Though it was not a sleep that felt nice due to the bad dream, the memory of which is still going round my head, I realize that this sleep was still good for me. In dream sleep, unrelated experiences and emotions are "cross-referenced" to make te...

The weekends invariably mean less sleep as I get to bed later - I was also anticipating a Skype appointment in the early morning. If I wake up less than an hour before I was planning to, my reasoning is that I may as well get up. This sleep is notable for the time spent dreaming, which I can remember being vivid at the time.

Just two minutes short of target, this is about as good as it gets by recent standards. I'm satisfied that I did the right things by night, but a more disciplined day could well improve sleep efficiency. I'm still not back in a routine after Christmas, but returning to the Weekend Job could kickstart my mind back into a more disciplined mode.

My intention to at least stay in bed until 0600 was thwarted around 04:45 by a raging urine boner, thirst and an overwhelming craving for tea. One wee and a cuppa later and I felt much better. Though I lost an hour, the pattern was my usual - sleeping well in the first half of the night then cycling frequently between waking and sleeping in the second half, with overall sleep efficiency at 80%. My ideal would be 8 hours fully asleep and a sleep efficiency of 100%, but I have set myself a more realistic target of a minimum 6 hours asleep and sleep efficiency of 90%, which I will achieve by research, and trial-and-error.